Day 3, 2:32pm

Happy Friday to me! Glad to say I woke up with a terrible cold this morning--stuffed nose, sore throat; the works. After suffering through the worst flu earlier this winter, I expected to be over the whole "sickness" thing.. but I guess, with blizzards in April, anything is possible. Thank you Minnesota weather! I arose this morning no longer craving my favorite meal of the day. That may have been the best feeling in the world. And now that I think of it, I haven't craved a single meal yet today--other than when the people in my Anatomy Lab thought it appropriate to discuss their burgers from Five Guys, and chocolate chip scones from Java City; I can't honestly say that didn't tempt me. At this point, I think the only thing my body is craving more of, is water, so, I guess I can drink to that! It is Friday after all.

Now that I can safely think about food without the urge to point a gun to my head, I've begun to derive a list of all the things I plan to devour on day eleven. And so it begins (proceed with caution, there are terrible, revolting things on such list):

1. Chipotle
2. Cranberry Almond Thins
3. Chicago Style Popcorn
4. White Castle Chicken Rings (made with all white meat). Yes, you read that correctly.
5. A Big Mac AND Large Fries
6. A gyro from Tony's Diner
7. An entire box of Chicken in a Biscuit Crackers
8. Every Specialty Pizza Made by Mesa
9. A giant, juicy burger from Five Guys

This list is just a start. I'm going to keep it going for all ten days to see how it evolves. Reflecting on this first draft, though, I've noticed there's not a single "sweet" on the list. After drinking this sugary lemonade for the last three days, I would truly be content with never eating a "sweet" again in my entire lifetime. All I want is greasy, salty, crappy food. I'm cleansing myself so that I can refill my body with more shit. Seems logical.

I'm finding that my problems are becoming less life altering as time goes on--another 180 from the day previous. My brain is not stuck on the fact that I cannot breathe, or that an entire branch full of snow fell on my head as I was walking to the bus stop, or that I won't be able to take a birthday shot with my best friend out of the bottle of Ciroc I just bought him. I can't even say my brain is even stuck on my hunger. I guess I've been inspired to worry about the less "trivial" problems in my life... But now that I think about it, I don't have any. My life is simple. I get really, really angry about stupid things, and I get over it.

I have been thinking really hard to try and figure out why the hell I am really doing this. Can't say I could even tell ya'. Via Facebook, Twitter, and all of my other social media, I have gotten a multitude of opposition (as well as support), and I'm finding it harder and harder to explain myself. Yes, skinniness is very appealing, but I don't truly believe this is a safe avenue for losing weight, nor do I believe it will leave me with long term results--I like crappy food far too much. I've also been doing an endless amount of research, and there's no scientific evidence that this really "cleanses" anything. There's more research to prove that I am actually stripping my intestines of important bacteria and depriving my body of necessary nutrients. If that's the case, then why has it been so popular for the last 50 years? I'm torn between the two theories, but I'm going through with it anyway. Outside of the health benefits/detriments, I am finding that this is proving more willpower in me, than I ever thought possible. (Anyone following my Facebook drama has already read this, but I am going to reiterate). I'm to the point where I just want to prove to myself that I can do it. Jesus made it 40 days, I think I can pray for the strength to make it 10.