Day 1. 1:59pm

See that picture? Yeah, that's me broadcasting myself to the world. At least my Instagram world. What's that in my bottle, you say? Well I can tell you this much, it's not juice, not water, not a smoothie, but a mere 10oz of water, lemon juice,  maple syrup, and (you guessed it) cayenne pepper--or in other words, my only source of nutrition for the next TEN days. This Master Cleanse thing has really got me questioning my motives, and as you can see, I'm merely halfway through day 1 (out of TEN, might I remind you.)

Why? Do you ask? I guess I wanna be healthy, and clean out my system and what not. There's a whole world of health benefits claimed by this "fast," such as more energy, glowing skin, luscious hair, no more tiredness, no more sluggishness, etc. But let's get this straight. I have all the energy I need when I want it, my skin is perfect, I'm never going to be happy with my hair, and the fact that I'm a college student means I'm entitled to be tired and sluggish all I want. All I needed to know was that Beyonce lost 20 pounds on  it--that must be legit, right? Either way, it's the only "fact" that matters to me. If you ask me in person why I'm doing this, I doubt I'd admit thats why--but let's face it, all I want is to be skinny.. It is almost bikini season!!

I feel like today will be the hardest; Shit, it better be the hardest! I mean, do you realize how many times you think about food in a day.. even in an hour!? I plan my day around my meals, such as, I'm going to wake up at such and such a time to eat a hearty, delicious breakfast, then I'm going to skip this class to eat a marvelous lunch, and finally, after I arise for a magnificent nap, I am going to go eat a giant dinner with all my friends. That, my friends, is what I call, my daily thought process.. Throw in a few mmm, that chocolate really looks good, or let's grab some coffee, or even oooo, how about a mint?, and you have every thought that passes through my head on a daily basis. (Probably why I've gained so much weight since coming here). As soon as my brain wanders into food planning, this Master Cleanse thing goes GOTCHA! You don't get to eat a thing. Here, Have some of this disgusting lemonade. Awesome.

I can't say I even really believe that this is healthy. I'm merely consuming a little sugar, and some spice. Can't say I understand how that could possibly give me enough energy to maintain. But nonetheless, I'm doing it. Through this throbbing headache, the constant urges to pee (and eventually shit), my upset stomach, faint body, and sleepy eyes, I'm doing it. I don't think I could honestly say, it's any different than any other day of my life. So heres to complaining to all of you for the next ten days. I hope you're ready. Cause I'm not.